Grab A Free Trial! Millions of songs just waiting for you today!

The Hell Wrote a Lovely Christmas Letter to Santa

Here at Tapp Out Music we love The Hell because they speak our fucking language and they are a bigger bunch of dicks than we are! They also lampoon metal bands for the stupid shit that they do sometimes.

The British band are not shy in calling out other bands, and even whole genres, when they need telling. In the past the band have told metalcore bands to fuck off, they broke up and then reformed within minutes to ridicule the plethora or reunions, and they took Upon A Burning Body to task for pretending their lead singer was missing just to get some publicity for their new album.

Now some are claiming the band have gone too far as they have now taken a pop at Santa Claus himself. Here is their lovely Christmas letter to him:

DEAR SANTA

HOPE YOU’RE WELL YOU FUCKING LAZY DICKHEAD.

I’VE BEEN REALLY FUCKING GOOD THIS YEAR AND REALLY FUCKING NICE TO EVERYONE SO HERE IS WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS:

1) ONE OF THOSE “PUNK GOES…” COMPILATIONS. PREFERABLY “PUNK GOES AWAY FOREVER”.

2) A $200 VIP MEET-AND-GREET TICKET UPGRADE FOR SOME TRANSIENT, GARBAGEY HAIRCUT BAND SO I CAN VOMIT ALL OVER THEM.

3) A SPINESHANK REUNION TO PROVE THAT IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW SHIT YOU ARE OR HOW LITTLE PEOPLE CARED THE FIRST TIME ROUND: IN 2014, OLD = GOOD.

4) THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE TO STOP BEING FUCKING SWEATY BELLENDS: DAILY MAIL, RACISTS, SEXISTS, HOMOPHOBES, KEYBOARD PLAYERS, PEOPLE WHO LIKE INSANE CLOWN POSSE, PRETTY MUCH FUCKING EVERYONE ACTUALLY.

5) A DICTIONARY OF SWEAR WORDS FOR ALBUM THREE.

6) BRIEFCASES FOR ALL OF OUR MONEY.

7) NERF GUN.

THANKS SANTA YOU PRICK

NAIL$

The absolute dicks!

people are talking about this